


you see what isn't there

by eremin



Category: Free!
Genre: Dermatillomania, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Psychology, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Skin picking, caring rin, ocd!nitori, self-injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 03:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2412743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eremin/pseuds/eremin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ai has ocd/dermatillomania<br/>rin confronts him after an episode and makes him realize he needs help</p>
            </blockquote>





	you see what isn't there

**Author's Note:**

> just something i had to get out of my system
> 
> warning for ocd and dermatillomania potential triggers
> 
> personal drama transference onto fanfic characters like yeah

He limped into the room, sniffling and clutching his hip with bloody, cut up hands. He had tear tracks down his face and the skin on his nose, cheeks, and chest was red and littered with little nicks and scrapes, a couple spots smeared with blood.

 

"Ai," Rin sighed sadly and shook his head, already knowing most of what had happened. Its the same almost every day. "You've got to stop. And what happened to your hands?"

 

Ai limped over to Rin, dragging his leg against the floor and catching his balance on the desk-chair, collapsing upon the bed with a pained moan.

 

"I'm sorry, Senpai! I was looking in the mirror and I saw bumps, s-"

 

"There weren't any... there never are!" Rin interrupted as he grabbed a first aid kit from the desk drawer.  

 

"Right, well then I _thought_ I saw bumps, and so I climbed up on the counter to get a closer look, as usual," Ai gasped in pain as he felt the sting of an antiseptic pad on his cut up hands, "I grabbed the tweezers and then, as usual, the next thing I knew over an hour had past and I'd picked my skin so much it was bleeding and my legs and hip were completely asleep and numb and tingling from squatting on the counter for so long"

 

"Yes, I know all this," Rin replied, sounding frustrated as he wrapped gauze bandages around Ai's hands, "it happens almost every day. But what's with the hands?"

 

Ai looked down shamefully, scrunching his eyebrows, "Oh- um, I got mad at myself for what I'd done. I took the magnifying mirror that was suctioned to the medicine cabinet and I threw it to the ground, where it broke into six pieces."

 

"...oh no." Rin quietly interjected, already knowing what was next.  

 

"Yeah." Ai replied blushing in embarrassment, "I couldn't ignore it, I tried. It really really bothered me. There was nothing else I could do to make it a multiple of five except to break four of the pieces in half to make ten.  And breaking little pieces of broken glass with your hands is harder than you'd think. But I couldn't stop until I'd finished. I could feel the panic starting, like it was a life or death situation. When i finally broke it into ten I was hurting really bad so I came out here."

 

Rin sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you in the bathroom alone for that long. I should've realized what you were doing, known that something was wrong."

 

"Don't blame it on yourself Senpai! It had nothing to do with you. I'm just an idiot!"

"Don't say that, it's not true." Rin said with a serious edge to his voice.

 

"See? I can't even make you feel better properly!"

 

"You're not supposed to be, I'm supposed to be making you feel better"

 

Rin took his roommates bandaged hands into his own, gently. He looked at them intently, as if he were trying to find a hidden meaning in it all.

 

"You cant do this anymore, Ai..."

 

"I know, I know, I won-"

 

"No," Rin barked, making Ai jump a bit, "Im serious. You have to stop. Im sick of this, Im sick of you destroying yourself, I'm sick of you crying and bleeding and hurting everyday. You _have to_ stop. Do you understand me? Stop. For me- no… for yourself. Have a little respect for yourself, will you?"

 

"Senpai... I-Im sorry," Ai said, nearly inaudible; he didn't know whether to feel flattered that he cared so much about him, or worried that Rin was truly upset, "but… I dont think I can."

 

"Clearly..." Rin stated, "you need help."

 

As much as he wanted to protest, Ai couldnt think of a single valid argument against that statement.

 

"I… I guess I do."

  
  
  



End file.
